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Tasteless Jokes: Religious: Man Dies & is sent to Hell

A man dies and finds himself in Hell.

He's wallowing in despair when the Devil comes along and says, 'Cheer up. It's not so bad. We have a lot of fun down here. Are you a drinking man?'

"Sure," replies the man, "I love to drink."

'Well you're gonna love Mondays in Hell,' says the Devil. 'Drinking is discouraged by the Church, so that makes alcohol my domain. On Mondays all we do is drink. Beer, whisky, wine, as much as you want.'

The Devil goes on to inquire further. 'By any chance are you a smoker?'

'Are you kidding,' says the man, "I love smoke! I ended up dying from lung cancer."

The Devil smiles and says, 'Thats great, you're really going to love Tuesdays! I have a great hook-up with tobacco companies and we get the finest tobacco from all over the world. You can smoke the rest of your lungs out.'

The man feels a bit more at ease. This Hell might not be so bad.

The Devil continues with the rest of the weekly schedule. 'I bet you like to gamble too don't you?'

"Why yes, I do" replies the man. "I used to play Craps & I was an ace at Poker"

'That perfect!' the Devil beams, 'Wednesdays you can gamble all day long! We have Craps tables, blackjack, roulette, poker, whatever you like. I bet you'll love our version of a sports book. Hey, you into drugs?'

"I love drugs," says the man.

'Well Thursday is drug day, we all get high all day long on all kinds of drugs. You have to try some of the nutty combinations we dream up down here. You know, we invented meth.'

"Wow," says the man, "I never realised Hell was such a cool place!" The Devil says, 'Yeah, it's a lot of fun down here. It's too bad people think it's so terrible, especially for a guy like you. Just looking at you I can tell you must be gay, aren't you?'

"Uh no," replies the man. "I'm very straight."

'Ouch,' replies the Devil, 'You're gonna really hate Fridays.'

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